that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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