So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
only if we run a train.
done.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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