The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
