In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
