wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
