I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
