FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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