I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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