"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
