I have demons in me.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
