you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
