if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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