And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
