We're facebook friends in real life
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
