and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
