There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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