carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
