we have officially lost it.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
