were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize