well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
