she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
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Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
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God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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