Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
