chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
