Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
