So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
