you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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