i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
my liver is dry heaving
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
false alarm, still single
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
