You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
