hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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