you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize