So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
