No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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