Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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