Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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