He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
