I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
