Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
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I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
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So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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