I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
