Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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