(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I FOUND THE LEGS
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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