Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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