he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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