im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
