I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you would pick up someone in the library
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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