a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
