Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
