The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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