Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
