Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
