Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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