i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
