I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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