Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
