No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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