and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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