you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
