please come you make the beer taste better
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
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