i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
