Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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