How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
