one might say we're banned from that church
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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