is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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