Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
