pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
